Save your breath. Just call me Bionic!!!!

I have been waiting for the approval of my 16th arm surgery since June of 2009. Workers Compensation has denied all requests and appeal letters submitted by my doctor. Because of the denials, I had to go to an AME evaluation in Newport Beach. To put it simply, an AME evaluation is a really really really long doctors appointment. You go over every single detail of yourself and what you have experienced with your work related injury with a qualified doctor that is picked/agreed on by the lawyer and the Worker Compensation adjustor. Whatever this doctor says goes. This doctor agrees that I should have my 16th surgery. So this weekend I was reading the evaluation packet that was sent to me and started laughing while reading this very long sentence that the doctor uses to describe my injury. Here it is:

"The ACOEM Guidelines do not address complicated cases such as Ms. E's chrondromalacia of the lunate fossa of the distal radius, slight chondromalacia of the scaphoid fossa of the distal radius, the dorsal capsular tear of the lunate and triquetrum with dorsal lunotriquetral ligament detachment and lunotriquertal instability, the lunotriquetral fusion and dorsal radio-luno-triquetral ligament advancement capsulodesis with findings of dorsal proximal pole of lunate arthritis, the removal of the 4mm ossicle from between the TFCC and the base of the ulnar styloid, the ulnar styloid shortening for ulnar styloid/carpal abutment, and the TFCC repair, the Darrach procedure (removal of the ulnar head) and the pronator quadratus transfer to the dorsal ulna, the arthroscopic findings of a stable lunotriquetral joint, intact radioscaphoid and radiolunate cartilage, mild scapholunate ligament laxity, and minimal chondromalacia of the midcarpal joint, the midcarpal fusion (four corner limited carpal arthrodesis) for midcarapal arthritis, the removal of the lunotriquetral screw from healed lunotriquetral fusion, the posterior interosseous neurectomy for denervation of the dorsal wrist, the removal of the midcarapal fusion hardware from the healed midcarpal fusion, the right total wrist arthrodesis, the removal of hardware from the healed total right wrist arthrodesis for dorsal wrist pain over the hardware, the removal of the triquetrum and pisiform bones with neurolysis of the superficial branch of the ulnar nerve, and the current pain at the right first, second, and thirst carpometacarpal joints due to the strain on those three joints increasing as a result of the entire wrist being fused."

One paragraph and one really long run-on sentence!!!!!

If you can recite that to me perfectly with out messing up I will give you a lollipop.

I personally think he should have saved his breath and said "Ms. E is bionic and needs a bionic tune up."